Can you identify some things Rachel’s mom did that contributed to the argument? Try the following: ● Avoid sweeping assertions, such as “You always . Your child may also know that sweeping assertions are really more about your anger than his or her irresponsibility. Write down specifically what is required of him or her, and if necessary, make clear what the consequences will be if your expectations are not met.● Rather than using blunt statements that begin with the word “you,” try expressing how your child’s behavior affects you. Patiently listen to your child’s point of view, even if you feel that view is incorrect.If you asked a question, they answered without hesitation.Often, in fact, you didn’t have to ask questions at all; information would gush forth like a geyser.This is a matter of concern, since your marriage is, in effect, a model that your children are likely to follow if they marry. Sometimes it is best to drop the matter and resume the discussion when tempers have cooled down.Why not use disagreements as an opportunity to demonstrate effective ways to resolve conflicts? The Bible tells us to be “swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath.” (James ) Don’t add fuel to the fire by ‘returning evil for evil.’ (Romans ) Even if your spouse seems unwilling to listen, can choose to do so. In a calm manner, tell your spouse how his or her conduct has affected you. The Bible says: “The beginning of contention is as one letting out waters; so before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave.”—Proverbs .My mother had too, and I was so happy to learn about it that I cried.I was very encouraged by what my mother told me, and I was strengthened to do what was right.” As Junko’s mother found out, teenagers tend to open up to parents when they are assured that their thoughts and feelings will not be met with ridicule or criticism.
‘Can I take the initiative to talk to my adolescent? Consider the experience of 17-year-old Junko in Japan.
Consider if you are unwittingly adding fuel to the fire. .” Such statements only invite a defensive response. By letting your teen know how you are affected, you are more likely to elicit his or her cooperation.* ● Hard as it may be, hold back until your temper is in check.
For instance, look at the scenario that opens Chapter 2 on page 15 of this volume. After all, they are likely to be exaggerations, and your child knows it. (Proverbs ) If the issue that is causing the argument involves chores, discuss it with your child.
Consider what some youths say about why they hold back from talking to their parents.
Then ask yourself the accompanying questions and look up the cited scriptures.